just your typical guy from the Canary Islands...

I need to write this right this second to be sure not to forget any single detail of the experience I just had.

Here I was, in my apartment writing my paper on the presence of duplicity in the life and works of Salvador Dali... sounds about as exciting as it is. I'm on page 7. Of 13. Hoo-freakin-ray. I decided I was stressed out... which automatically translates to wanting to eat my feelings. Instead of devouring a television or something, I thought hmm... time to make voyage number 2 of the year to Subway. Frankly I'm proud of myself that I've only gone there twice seeing how I pass it on a daily basis... but the idea of a good ole American tuna grinder with extra pickles and a side of chips was just too good to pass up today. The Subway is right down the street on the corner... maybe a two minute, basically uneventful, walk. And yet, during this short stroll I met the single most strange person I have ever met in my life. Sometimes I ask myself how I manage to meet so many whack-jobs... and then think, clearly they are drawn to my inner-lunatic.

OKAY. So, I am walking down my street, putting my keys in my pocket and making sure that 10euro bill hadn't disappeared from my pocket if you want details, when a guy, probably about 30-35 years old, stops me and asks if I had a light for his cigarette. I respond saying no, sorry and I kept walking. I'm almost to the crosswalk when I hear "excuse me, excuse me!!" and look to find that he's running after me. So now he's speaking in English, since apparently my 'no, I'm sorry' wasn't in the most convincing Spanish accent. Here, more or less, is the conversation that followed:

Jose: I'm sorry, I just wanted to tell you that you have a wonderful smile. It's so natural... and it gives you... how do I put it... it gives you glamour. But I'm sure you hear that all the time.

Betsey: (Thinking 'yah natural my ass'... that's 6 years of braces buddy) Nope, not really... I'm not exactly a glamorous person, but thanks! (she turns to keep walking... the yellow Subway sign in her view)

J: Really? I find that shocking! I'm sorry, you must think I'm completely mad.

B: No, no... that's nice of you to say, thanks again.

J: Where in America are you from?

B: Connecticut

J: Ohh Connecticut, I actually know somebody from Connecticut.

B: Oh really? There aren't too many of us. Where are you from?

J: I'm from the Canary Islands.

B: Oh really. I actually know somebody from there as well. (side note: Angel, I can only hope that this isn't one of your relatives...)

J: What's your name? I'm Jose.

B: Betsey.

J: Bepsi? (clearly)

B: Betsey.

J: Ahh Betsey... it's a pleasure to meet you. (cheek kisses)

J: (Looks intently at Betsey, squinting his eyes.. then they pop open a bit and he gasps as if a lightbulb just went off in his head) Virgo? or Gemini?

B: (Thinks, oh boy... this is about to get interesting...) Uhhh... libra actually.

J: Ahh of course.. that makes sense. I'm sorry, you must think I'm crazy... it's just hobby of mine... not a job or anything...

B: No.. um.. that's very interesting (as she thinks yes, I think you're an absolute nut)

J: ... but I studied astrology for awhile back in the Canary Islands.

B: (voice in her head is screaming, RUNNNNNN!!!) Oh wow- thats certainly different...

J: ... I study astrological signs, read hands, I can sense vibes...

B: (inner voice: oh dear Lord..)

J: ... and I have to tell you, that I acted on impulse when I stopped you. (gets very serious) I sensed that you have very, VERY strong vibrations. I couldn't let you just walk by without talking to you.

B: Ohh...

J: I need to go... but can I please just look at your hand... please, I need to see it.

B: OOooookayyy... (holds out hand, eyebrows raised beyond normality)

J: OH... OH! Oh wow. This explains everything. You are an extremely complicated woman Bestey... and very intelligent. You have lot's of things going on in here (touches side of Betsey's head) and in here (points to Betsey's chest)

B: Oh .. um.. errr...hm..

J: How long are you in Madrid?

B: (too confused to lie and say 'tomorrow') Probably til May or June...

J: Oh wonderful! I would love to get together and have a drink... I would love to spend more time looking at your hands.

B: Ohh.. uhh..

J: Ok I can't this week, but next Monday, at 6:00, meet me here on this corner... right where I first saw you and felt your vibes.

B: Ohh.. yeah, okay (translation: when fish grow antlers and carry Santa's sleigh..)

J: Okay, see you then! I live right here on this street (sidenote: yes, MY street...) so maybe I'll see you before then!

B: (speedwalks to Subway, vascillating between utterly confused and utterly amused)



Honestly... how do I meet these people? And why, why, WHY does he have to live across the street from me. This could get tricky. Next thing I know he'll show up at my door with a cape, a turban, and a crystal ball calling himself Jose the Great and saying that he can see our future children.



SOMEBODY REMIND ME NEXT MONDAY NOT TO PASS BY THAT CORNER BETWEEN 5:30 AND 6:30.