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Everything you need to know (and even more stuff that you don't need to know) about moi


I really like violent sports- they're great for relieving frustration and stress. The sports I played all involved succeeding through hitting things as hard as possible- softball, tennis, rugby... The sports I most enjoy watching are men's lacrosse, hockey, and football because it's basically just a bunch of men trying to kill another bunch of men through the most violent means possible.

I have a really sarcastic sense of humor. I can't help it and I (usually) don't mean to offend.

My birthday is October 17, which is also the birthday of Norm McDonald, Evel Knievel, Wyclef Jean, Pope John Paul I, and Eminem. Word.

I almost went to school to become a pilot.

People think I'm indecisive, which I am. Or am I? I can't decide...

There are a few words that I absolutely hate. I can't even physically make them come out of my mouth. Some of these words include: "wound", "gown", "moist", "fester", a few choice terms for female 'no-no zones,' and oh dear God the worst of them all is definitely "panty." Ughhh.. I can barely even type it...

I miss being entertaining. In English I'm funny.

My biggest fear is the following scenario: sitting in the backseat of a two-door car that goes over a bridge into a river. Being in the backseat of said two-door vehicle, there are no doors through which to escape... therefore making a drowning death all but inevitable.

Other fears include rejection, paper cuts in the eye, bees, swiss army knives, commitment, and big flocks of birds.

Scary movies really do give me nightmares. Also, when things unexpectedy pop out in a scary movie, I have a tendency to scream obscenities.

I am an AIM stalker. I think I need a 12 step program.

My first word was "doggie." Damn straight, that's TWO syllables.

I am an obsessive people-watcher and eavesdropper. I don't do it to be creepy, I SWEAR, I just really enjoy studying people.

I have an Answer-Me Jesus doll given to me by the Three Frauds (I mean... Three Wise Men/Kings/Whatever the hell they are..... jussssst kidding, kids). It's rather like a Magic 8 ball, but instead of a ball it's a Pepto-bismol pink likeness of JC. The responses it gives are along the lines of "Sinner" "Repent" "I'll ask my dad" "I still love you" and "Resist the Devil"

Simple pleasures make me the happiest. Popping bubble wrap, for example.

I don't like talking on the phone. I can't do it. Something about the lack of eye contact makes me unable to successfully communicate.

As a child, it took me an abnormally long amount of time to learn how to tie my shoes. I used to lock myself in my closet to try to do it.

Susan has gotten me addicted to celebrity gossip.

The two places I most want to travel to are Ireland and Germany. You know... to get in touch with my roots. They are also the two countries I wanted to go to while I was in Spain two years ago. Needless to say, I went to France and Greece.

My favorite show is Late Night with Conan O'Brien. I believe my obsession is rather publicly known.

I have talented eyeballs. My vision is better than 20/20. These peepers also change color: sometimes they're blue, and sometimes they're green.

I am the opposite of a hypochondriac... I never go to the doctor. Once, when I had to go to the hospital to get a shot, the woman was looking for my record and was shocked because there was only one thing on it: my birth, 21 years earlier.

I also don't take medicine... except for debilitating pain or for what I believe to be allergies. Otherwise, I literally lose the ability to breathe. It's kinda scary.

I resort to laughing in all situations. This includes when I'm happy, stressed, nervous, scared, mad, or upset.

I can do a disturbingly accurate impression of a baby crying.

When I was little and woke up in the middle of the night, I would go in my parents bedroom and instead of crawling INTO bed with them, I'd squeeze UNDER their bed and sleep there. Then I'd grab my mom's ankles when she got up in the morning. She didn't like that too much.

My alcohol tolerance is through the roof yo!

I detest when people grill me about my political views. And grilling is different than simply asking.

Also, don't ask me about my plans for the future. I don't know what I want to do nor even what country I want to be in.

I live the torturous life of an insomniac.

I'm very unorganized. And yet, when I go and organize everything, I can't find anything that I'm looking for.

I really like Spain, even though it's where I've had my phone stolen, my money stolen, and a man jump out of the bushes right in front of me in a park and proceed to rather aggressively please himself. These experiences have somehow managed not to negatively impact my opinion.

I'm a crossword puzzle goddess.

My favorite movie of all time is the Little Mermaid... and I have no qualms about making my guy friends watch it with me.

I often have random urges to do hand-stands.