teeth

England, contrary to popular belief, is not the sole contender for the habitants with the worst teeth award. I was sitting on the metro the other day, across from a couple and their tween daughter. The man looked perfectly normal... mid-40's, well-dressed, wife and daughter quite attractive. Then he laughed a big hearty laugh at something the daughter said... a laugh that revealed his very, VERY few teeth. I couldn't but look at his mouth (and yes, I did shamefully get caught) and think WHOA. And yet, when he laughed he really laughed... he didn't try to cover his mouth with his hand or struggle to keep his lips pressed together. And although I'm sure he'd like to have some of those pearly whites back in his mouth (and probably also would like that the remaining ones BE pearly whites..) he wasn't embarrassed at all.

I, in my days as a "I'm hungover and have nothing to do on a Sunday morning (ahem.. afternoon more likely...)" college student, have seen many a Jerry Springer-esque show where people are so ashamed of their dental situation that they refuse to come out of their homes. And it all comes down to culture. Americans are over-obsessed about everything. How much money they make. Which college you attended. Nose too big? Change it. Boobs too small? Silicone! MUST HAVE bottled water and not from the tap. Must shower 3 times a day. Once in the morning, once after excercising, and cleary once more before going out. Everything, right down to dental care.

Having had 12 teeth yanked from their happy gum homes (don't worry, only 4 were adults) and having spent approximately five years behind the metal bars of every teenager's "I'm in my awkward stage" signal, ie braces, this very much pertains to me. The dentist, pre-braces, used to say "well isn't that a fun little design" while describing the creative arrangement of my noshers. In Spain, those fun little designs STAY fun little designs. In USA? Not a chance. After getting the braces off the first time, I had one tooth... ONE HIDDEN BOTTOM TOOTH... shift slightly. CLEARLY I had to get braces back on those puppies ASAP.

We spend so much money (and pain) on making our teeth perfectly straight and unnaturally white (think of the episode of Friends when Ross whitens his teeth before going out on a date...). It ends up being like the racks in Abercrombie & Fitch... rows and rows of jeans all with the same "oh look... these are my totally individual old comfy jeans" holes in the exact same places. Everyone's teeth look the same. It comes down to whose teeth have been the most altered.

I have to admit, I enjoy a nice smile... maybe because I'm trained to. But at the same time, there's also something really beautiful to see the imperfections of a person that make them unique from their friends and their family. I mean, there are instances where one's dental health is at stake where they'll end up losing their teeth if something isn't done now.. I understand that. And I bet Mr. Toothless in the Metro could possibly have a better self image with some dentures or something. But a couple of crooked teeth? A little gap? It's natural... people are supposed to have imperfections. Without imperfections, we'd all be tall naturally tan size 6 chicas with thick wavy hair, long eyelashes, hooge hooters, cute button noses, perfectly toned muscles... and, clearly, two rows of perfectly straight, perfectly arranged, and perfectly white teeth.