the decline of the english language

So I don't think it comes as any surprise that I enjoy writing. I do. I enjoyed writing the slew of application essays for college and grad school... and I think I even wrote a few extra just for kicks. However, I have long lived under the impression that making any sort of living as a writer would be beyond my capabilities. Hell, I may write decently well, but there are people out there who weave together verbs and adjectives in ways that stomp mine out like a cigarette butt in the pavement.

At the current moment, I am in fact making a living writing (well, I guess it depends on one's concept of "making a living"). I spend my 40 hours a week writing Spanish city guides, content for the company's four million websites, monthly newsletters, etc. Overall, I enjoy it. What throws you off, however, is when people who write like SHIT are being paid the same as you. You, meanwhile, will spend a half-hour reworking a sentence and racking your brain for witty expressions so that the text is at least vaguely interesting for the reader. What angers you is when not only do they write like a mentally challenged elementary school child, but you have to go through 100 pages of their text rearranging sentence structures and correcting their interpretation of basic grammar and spelling.

We currently have a freelance writer who writes some of the less important city guides. She claims to be British and a native English-speaker. Yes, England... the birthplace of the English language. My take is that she's about as British as the Dell customer service operators who claim to be Americans named Tom and Barbara, even though their unintelligible English gives away the fact that they've never traveled outside of India.

While this girl uses ultra-British and therefore inherently heinous expressions like, "If you have a hankering for..." which I promptly delete and replace, her comprehension of basic grammar and writing tactics that we learn before we hit puberty is deplorable. I have told my boss more than once that this "Anna" is either lazy, on drugs or just plain stupid. He has yet to act accordingly... in fact, he's rather pleased with her. Apparently the French know more about the English language that an English-speaker. Therefore, I continue to roll my eyes, grit my teeth and correct all of her guides.

While I was, for awhile, depressed at the fact that she probably gets paid about what I do, I have recently come to the following conclusion. Basically, if this girl can get continuously paid to write 100 page city guides, hell I could easily get paid to write entire novels. I'm not saying that I'd necessarily get a lucrative two-novel deal from Random House. However, I'd bet that my literary masterpieces could at least be sold at supermarket check-out lines with other $2.99 novels, right there amongst the book covers with long-haired and open-shirted Fabio-esque studs riding on white stallions, their tanned pecks grasped from behind by their recently-rescued, flowing-haired, untied-bodice-wearing lovers.

I may be coming across as overly self-righteous and haughty. Worry not! I have tangible proof. To be able to laugh about it - and to break up the hours of boredom and desperation - I began keeping track of some of Anna's treasures. Riveting text, really. My personal favorites are numbers 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 18, and 21

1. San Sebastian just loves their festivals and parade, which provides a veritable calendar of exciting events – the Film Festival, Jazz Festival, Tinkers Parade, La Tamborrada are just among San Sebastian’s highly enjoyable events.
2. The portico is in the Renaissance style while a tower that in the baroque style was added in 1777.
3. How does San Sebastian's music scene look like?
   
4. Zona Romantica – ah, the district for romance! Located in the junction of Calle Larramendi and Calle Reyes Catolicos, this district is where you will find a great place to take your date – from great music pubs to chic cafes. What’s more, the cooking here is first-rate.
   
5. Get to know San Sebastian a little deeper as you look into its different district, culture and tourism.
6. This was chosen as the political capital of the Basque country, just recently (1980s).
   
7. It is one great way to taste all that Cadiz has to offer – and not end up losing your budget (not to mention your belly!). Tapas can be composed of virtually anything – the food mentioned above, plus cheese and locally produced ham.
8. Hmmmm – mmmm!
9. In fact, shopkeepers close down for a few hours as they enjoy this meal at home, after the meal, they cozy down to get some siesta (midafternoon nap).
10. It used to consist of a number of layers of walls, currently however, only one wall remains standing.
    
11. Made in pink brink has Mudejar style arches. (yes, that's a full sentence)
12. What's there to buy in Cadiz? Plenty, that's what.
13. And a-one, two, three, four... Move your body!
14. These includes egrets, vultures, ducks, doves, falcons, herons, flamingos, geese and many others.
15. The park also houses a learge population of mountain goats, deer, mountain ox and stag. These, as the rest of the animals are protected by law.
16. The fauna is just as varied – the wide umbrella pine forest gives excellent shelter to palmettos, blackthorns, junipers and rosemary.
    
17. Whether you want to go on a wine-tasting binge in Jerez and the "Sherry Triangle", or visit beautiful Seville or the White Villages.
18. Jerez de la Frontera is synonymous to the word sherry. In fact, that is what Jerez is. Jerez actually means Sherry.
19. For more inquiries about a trip to Jerez de la Frontera, visit the Jerez Tourism Information Office at Edificio Los Claustros).
    
20. the Fine Arts Museum (which has the second largest collect of pictures in Spain)
21. Culturally, Sevilla offers the best of Andalusia – flamenco and bullfighting. But that is not all that Sevilla has to offer – its people (the Sevillanos) are jolly, warm and fun-loving. Because of the people vibrant personality (throw in a bit of wit and charm), Sevilla sparkles in the minds of tourists because of its vitality.
    
22. This is especially seen during the Feria de Abril. This is when Sevilla especially bursts in brilliant color and sound.
23. Construction of the church was began by the master builder Alonso Rodriguez
24. To make the most of your excursion to Gibraltar, visit the Gibraltar Tourist Office, at the Duke of Kent House, Cathedral Square
25. Nestled between the Mediterranean Sea and the Atlantic Ocean, Gibraltar is quite small, only 5.8 square kilometers, but it is a complete community – with all the necessary amenities.
    
26. These are called the White Villages because the of the white-washed houses, castles and churches do make an enchanting sight, against the backdrop of green and brown countryside.
    
27. Reaching Cadiz by Car is an experience in itself – you get to see the countryside and stop whenever you want or feel like it. Take your time, explore the villages you pass along the way.
28. If you are staying in a hotel with a parking garage, you can make use of this facility, which charges around €9 to €14 a day.