just a typical morning

This morning, having successfully showered, dried the hairs, and gotten dressed in 25 minutes, I was on target to arrive on time to class. My bedroom is interior (it faces a little patio-ish thing and another apartment's window... therefore I keep the shades closed.. just in case I decide to dance around nekkid in my room sometime) and therefore clearly did not notice the depressing DOWNPOUR that nature was throwing down upon the city of Madrid. So I walk downstairs and somewhere in the range of 3 feet from the door I notice the wrath of good ole Mama N. I swear that cranky biatch has her u-trou all up in a bunch this week. Not overly concerned, I turn around to walk upstairs to retrieve my umbrella... and then realize that I have forgotten my keys. Perfect. Oh but it's ok! I can avoid getting soaked in my 20 minute journey to class by taking the metro. Good! I like technology! So I head to the metro stop, where I proceed to realize I have neither a) money nor b) my metro pass with me. They're in the OTHER coat. Yes, the coat with a hood... another item oh so conveniently left behind that I would have found quite useful this morning. So... I trudge back up to the street to confront a fabulous 20 minute walk to my least favorite class of my life... a walk full of puddles, wet hair, and those pity stares of people who you KNOW are saying "whoa, this girl looks like a wet dog... what an idiot for not bringing an umbrella." It was a good... nay, a GREAT... morning. The best part? Upon arriving to class (now 5 minutes late) and sitting in a puddle of squish, I opened my wet backpack to find... my umbrella. And I'm pretty positive it was actually sprouting horns and laughing demonically at me. If I hadn't been in class and had the professor not been talking... it could have easily become a violent scene.

Sidenote: there should be an obligatory class during the formulative years on umbrella etiquette. Lesson topics would include but are not exclusive to:
1. If you have an umbrella, let the people who happen to have obviously forgotten to bring one walk beneath the overhangs. You selfish bastards...
2. Just because a girl does not have an umbrella does not mean that she wants to be offered a private walk to her destination. Yes, I'm talking to YOU, you creepy, middle-aged, unibrowed man.
3. The umbrella is a useful friend... not a weapon.
4. When walking through or as part of a group of people, raise the umbrella just a smidge to avoid the totally unnecessary clashing with the umbrellas of the people walking in the opposite direction... and half-killing the girl stuck in the middle (cough cough, ME).
5. When standing around waiting to cross the street, it's not ok to twirl your umbrella back and forth, sending an extra bucket or so of water shooting off in all directions like a freakin' fireworks display. I understand you are bored, but your cute little singing in the rain tendencies cause you to further soak and therefore anger the already wet and surly girl to your left.
6. When walking in the rain, especially in an urban setting, it is not necessary to have an umbrella big enough to fit a family of five. In doing so, you are impairing anybody who is not a midget (er, vertically challenged person) from passing.