SO ready for warm weather...

This weekend it's going to be practically 70º in Madrid- woot!!! Bars and cafés had better get their outdoor tables set up!

Ch-ch-check it out: Madrid's 10-day

tuesday morning randomness

• How is it not at least Thursday?

• Joanne might come back to Madrid in June... to stay! Yay America.
  

• While a smidge embarrassing to admit, Britney Spears' newest album is great for the gym. With the exception of a ballad or two which I promptly skip, the beats of practically all of the songs are right on par with my rate on the elliptical: a nice range of 60 to 65.
  

• I don't care how screwed up she is; Amy Winehouse totally rocks. She adds a touch of sultry sass to the mundane nature of my workday.

• No matter how painstakingly careful I am when winding them up, my iPod earphones ALWAYS tangle themselves into knots. Wtf?

• No Movistar, I don't want a cell phone contract. Please stop stalking me.

• 45 days til vacation- Hallelujah!

• How beyond fantastic is the Sarah Silverman / Jimmy Kimmel video duel? HIL.AR.I.OUS.

Her video:


His revenge:

me = idiot

Going to the gym in the morning, when you're still groggy and trying to figure out why the main characters in your dream were dancing forks, inevitably increases the possibility of leaving something behind. Luckily, such items are generally negligible... hence their being forgotten. Salad dressing. Socks. A spoon. Occasionally a bra. When these things are left behind, it's just a hitch. You can make do, even if it means eating dry lettuce for lunch or keeping the gals hidden with a sweatshirt.

Then today happened, when I found myself standing in the gym locker room - showered and otherwise ready to go - in leggings, boots and a tank top. Noticeably absent from my gym bag was the dress meant to go over said leggings.

I had 10 minutes until work, which is 5-10 mins from the gym, and I had to weigh out my options: A) go to work a la Catwoman, or B) scamper the 15 minutes home, put on the dress and then scamper the 20 minutes to work, hoping to make it in by 10. This is all up and down the same long street, mind you. A shop worker said hi to me three - count 'em THREE - times this morning.

In the end, tardiness prevailed over what would likely have been the saddest attempt at a Catwoman costume ever. Interestingly enough, I probably burned up more pesky calories outside of the gym this morning than inside it.

yay yay rah rah

Is it just me or is Hillary Clinton always, always, ALWAYS clapping in pictures taken of her as she campaigns. I personally - and especially when you throw in the over-exaggerated facial expressions - find that it comes across as quite awkward. Like when parents try too hard to act "cool" or when scrawny, acne-prone teenyboppers in the throes of puberty try to break dance. Or rap.

Then again, I bet a hearty dose of self applause does wonders for your self esteem. That way, you know that you've always got at least one cheerleader on your side. Or in the mirror.

... go Obama!

morning encounters

So there's this girl who I see at the gym pretty much every time I manage to drag myself out of bed in the name of physical well-being. I refer to her simply as, well, an abbreviated nickname stemming from a particular part of the female anatomy. It may seem crass, but trust me... it's appropriate. I will explain why. Plus, she's about an 11 on the bitch meter, so I don't feel too bad about it.

Now I'm not a prude; I understand walking to and from the shower naked. It's normal and doesn't bother me in the least. However, while most folks then put some clothes on or at least use a towel post-shower, this particular lass keeps on in the buff for another 20 minutes as she blow-dries her hair, puts on her make-up and goes through the rest of the steps of her a.m. beauty routine.

Then comes the fun part: when she apparently needs to exfoliate her entire body with this coarse loofah of sorts. This involves her - completely naked, mind you - throwing her leg over her head into a position that can only be compared to that of my cat when he is getting ready to lick himself.

a note from frank

So today I get the following email:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Elizabeth,

As Senior Vice President of Holy Cross, I am writing to ask you for some very valuable feedback. Our records indicate that you have not recently made contributions to the College. I am not asking for money at this time; I am merely looking for information. Will you share with us why you do not give?

If you take a moment to let me know why you don't give to Holy Cross, I promise to respond to you personally. We are working to make Holy Cross the top choice for ambitious students eager to discover themselves in an intellectually rigorous, Jesuit, liberal arts environment. We need the support of alumni to make that happen. That is why it is imperative for us understand why some alumni do not give. If you're willing to share that information, I would be very grateful.

Just email me at (email address) with your response, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts with me.

Frank ________

Senior Vice President

College of the Holy Cross

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notice the strategically italicized "Will you share with us why you do not give?", as if it were Mother Teresa herself making a heartfelt plea for grain to feed the hungry. In reality, Holy Cross has bazillions of dollars that it invests primarily in schmoozing rich alumni, catering meals for the Jesuits on campus and, of course, plenty o' mulch.

Well, Frank... unfortunately for us all, I'm still looking at 10 years of paying off that intellectually rigorous, Jesuit, liberal arts education. Ask me a decade from now and then maybe we'll chat... perhaps when I have a bit of cash in the bank to complement my valuable intellectual affluence.

major peeeeeve

If there's one thing I dislike about the gym more than my feet falling asleep on the elliptical, it's the obnoxious folks who plant themselves right in front of your machine in the gym and then attempt to will you off the elliptical/treadmill with their raised-browed eye rolls, piercing stares, exaggerated sighs and frenzied toe-tapping.

That's when I generally decide is a good time to test my physical threshold and go for as long as my endurance will keep me conscious, upright and breathing. And then I do a relaxed, very drawn-out cool down. Mwa ha ha.

SUCKAS.

why are sneakers exciting?

I bought new sneakers yesterday, which is always exciting. No, not because I'm a girl and all girls intrinsically love adding new footwear to their collection... ahem, Elaine.

These babies are my first pair of Nikes since I was like 12, when I boycotted them. 'Why?' you may ask? Some would respond that it's because of the exploitation of young'ns in the Chinese work force. Nope, not my reason... though I certainly commend those folks for their noble nature.

It all goes back to when my brother went through his infamous head-to-toe Nike phase, when a typical outfit would feature Nike basketball sneakers, black Nike socks, Nike mesh shorts, a Nike t-shirt, a Nike sweatshirt and of course - the cherry on top of his bowl haircut - a Nike hat. This "phase" lasted for several years, and the over saturation of Nike apparel floating around the house made me shudder at all things swoosh-related. Only yesterday, 13 years later, did I finally break down and invest in a pair of Nike kicks that caught my eye and hugged my feet like little clouds of heaven. And, I must admit, they're pretty rad.

Why is it that buying sneakers excites me so? Well, to begin, anything new is exciting and there's definitely something to be said for the beneficial powers of retail therapy. But secondly, there was always something thrilling about buying new sneakers as kids, when the parentals loaded us up in the family station wagon (hell yeah wood-grain panels!), shuffled us into the local Stride Rite store and deposited us at the feet of some archetypal frumpy store clerk, who then embarked on the tedious process of getting us to stop squirming, measuring our feet, and then testing how much room we had in the various footwear candidates that came through the swinging door.

Eventually we'd narrow down the options, whining our way out of the personal favorites of our parents, and finally select the winning pair of gleaming white sneakers that would make us the masters of all outdoor pursuits. We'd proudly and squeakily wear them out of the store, our dingy and probably ill-fitting ones hidden away like illegitimate children.

We'd get home, anxious to show off our fabulous new high-tops in a game of neighborhood 4-square or tackle football, fully-convinced that with our brand new footwear we could run faster, jump higher, throw stronger and certainly look all sorts of good. We'd open the front door and wave regally to our friends like pint-sized popes greeting the hoards in Saint Peter's Square (otherwise known as our front yard). Just as we'd open our mouths to brag "Hey look at my new..", our mother always appeared out of thin air.

"No, no... those are your 'good' sneakers. Go put your old ones back on to play outside." And in that moment, all the fun was squeezed right out of the situation and our athletic prowess was placed back into the box... to be saved for more appropriate childhood activities that did not entail anything that sneakers are technically designed for.

So to answer the question, I just get excited that I don't have to "save" my new sneakers.

just gettin through the work day...

1. Name someone who can always makes you smile? alfonsito, marky, my familia, dogs

2. What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? moving to our new office... and then trying to make it less hazardous

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? workin'

4. What did you do last night? slept

5. Did you watch the Super Bowl? sadly, i did not

6. Explain why you last threw up? ill

7. What color is your hair brush? purple, i think?

8. What cell phone company do you use? in the states, cingular... in spain, movistar

9. Have you text voted for an American Idol? hell nah

10. Have you ever run out of gas? touchy subject... aka twice. what can i say, i'm a procrastinator by nature and sometimes it backfires.

11. Hot tea or Iced tea? i like it hot and i like it green

12. What was the weather like today? chilly and cloudy

13. Where did your last hug take place? at work

14. What are you excited for? work ending for the day

15. Ever smoked pot? moi?

16. Closest thing to you that is green? box of green tea bags on my desk

17. Last person you spoke to? fabienne

18. Are you very random? quite

19. Do you want to get your hair cut? i think i'm gonna grow it again

20. Are you over the age of 25? gettin' old... i know

21. Do you talk a lot? nope... only if i'm drunk or hyper

22. Do you watch The O.C.? ew

23. Whats your screename? no, you can't stalk me

24. Will people IM you now that you posted it? see above

25. Do you make up your own words? spanglish does wonders for one's vocabulary..

26. Are you ticklish? don't touch me

27. Do you own rollerblades? somewhere in my mom's basement

28. Are your ears pierced? yup

29. Bar soap or body wash? whatever's in the shower

30. Are you a jealous person? sometimes

31. What brand of shampoo do you use? pantene

32. Do you chew on your straws? not obsessively

33. Do you have curly hair? HA!

34. What is the next concert you are going to? no clue

35. Where did you go today? let's see... old work, new work, bar downstairs for a coffee, back to new work, lunch, back to work. WOO!

36. What 1 item do you always pick up at the grocery store? juice

37. What is something you say a lot? holler

38. Last time you wore panty hose? ugh, i hate the word panty.. shudder

39. Red or White Wine? rouge, si'l vous plait

40. Do you think you are pretty? sometimes

41. What are you doing tonight? i love my will & grace reruns...

42. What was your last missed call? mom

43. What should you be doing right now? work

44. Do you have a nickname? betsey has opened up all sorts of opportunities... betsey-wetsey, buttsey, butts, etc.

45. Are you a heavy sleeper? sometimes

46. What are you listening to? regina spektor

47. What is the best movie you have seen in the past two weeks? juno!

48. Is there anyone you like right now? sure

49. When was the last time you did the dishes? i put dishes in the dishwasher yesterday?

50. Did you cry today? so far so good

51. Do you like Chinese food? some

52. How big is your bed? depends where i am

53. Do you know someone with the same birthday as you? not personally, although according to wikipedia there are quite a few of us

54. Laptop or desktop computer? laptop at home, desktop at work

55. How many pictures are hanging in the room you are in? zippo

56. Red Sox or Yankees? red sox, duh

57. Does anyone like you? hopefully not everyone hates me, put it that way

58. Do you collect anything? junk

59. Do you bite your nails? only in moments of stress

60. How many megapixels is your digital camera? i forget

61. Last time you went on a date? do people still call them dates?

62. How many times have you been pulled over by the police? perfect driving record suckaaas

63. Pancakes or French Toast? pancakes

64. What is on your mouse pad? don't have one

65. At what temperature do you put on a jacket? now that i have the cold tolerance of a 90 year old floridian, i'm always cold. how things have changed since i used to go entire winters without wearing a coat...

66. Do You Like Coffee? we have a very intimate relationship

67. How big is your largest television set? um? whichever it is it sure ain't mine

68. Do you know anyone in the military? yep

69. Do you have a globe in your house? maybe somewhere in my dad's basement?

70. Number of pillows you sleep with? 1 or 2

71. Do you make scrapbooks? i did in high school

72. Could you live without a computer? prob not

73. What are you wearing right now? jeans and a yellow shirt. tres interessant

74. What type of watch do you wear? don't wear one

75. Do you prefer Tile or Hardwood Floors? i guess hardwood?

76. Can you play pool? i have strangely good luck for being a shitty pool player

77. Last time you swam in a pool? not too sure

78. Are your nails manicured? never

79. Do you like maps? i LOVE google maps...

80. Tell me a random fact: i spent a long time wanting to be a dolphin trainer and work at sea world

81. Ever have surgery? negative

82. What celebrity do people say you look like? if i DO ook like someone, i hope it's at least a female...

83. What age were your parents when they got married? like 23... YIKESABEE

84. Favorite TV show? 30 rock & arrested development (never gets old)

85. Does your phone have a camera? yup

86. Favorite flavor of ice cream? moosetracks, cookie dough

87. Have you been to Times Square? several times

88. Who will you vote for in the 2008 Presidential Election? i am what can be defined as obsessed with barack obama

89. How many cars have you owned? actually "owned"? zippo

90. Does your car have a bumper sticker on it what is it? no car

91. Favorite quiz on QuizPox.com ? no idea what that is

92. Do you know anyone that is pregnant? too many for my liking... some chicks have already hatched

93. Last time you laughed at something stupid? like 5 mins ago

94. What time did you wake up this morning? well, i GOT up around 8:30... woke up every 9 minutes between 7:30 and 8:30 (thank you snooze alarm)

95. Wake up next to anyone this morning? the normal entourage... just a few male prostitutes and a pair of goats

96. Best thing about winter? fireplaces

97. Worst thing about winter? cold, lack of outdoor cafés

98. Do you have siblings? 3

99. Name a couple of favorite colors? green, red

100. What are you doing this weekend? sleeping and maybe a bar crawl?